Friday, December 17, 2010

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College Humor - Photoshop Tutorial Rap Lyrics


College Humor - Photoshop Tutorial Rap

Oh, my eyes are red, how am I supposed to put my photos on facebook?
Yo, I hear you got a problem

Yo I’m CMYKilla, I’m here to answer your prayers,
So import that shitty photo, open up a new layer.

When it comes to red eyes, I know just the fix
Back your ass up and let me channel mix

You know that R G B are the colors we’re slidin’
Now knock that Red back till’ the sucker be hidin’

Set our hues, green and blue up to fifty percent
Now we're through, let's review our color adjustment.

Hey what’s wrong with my picture? You made it all grey!

Crop that tongue, motherfucker, listen what I say.

Select your layer mask, now we’re on the right track
Whip that paint bucket out, fill it up with black.

HOLD UP here’s a tip for adobe elite
If you want a quick fill, press ALT DELETE

But it looks just the same!

Yo, shut up, fool!
No talkin’ while I’m shoppin’, that’s my number one rule

Now get yourself a brush, make it soft and white
and dab away that red till it looks all right.

Wow, that looks great Killa! Thanks!

Yo, no problem. Now let’s fix these weird eyes on your girlfriend here.

No, that’s alright, they’re... they’re supposed to be like that.

He’s the C to the M to the Y to the KILLAH
Photoshop master pixel pushin’ eye thrillah.
A designer so fine with an insane rap flow
I rope in all the honeys with a magnetic lasso.
Oh, command c, command c

Oh, this is going to be the worst church bake sell ever
I want this stupid text popped
Oh, an urba

Yoh, did I hear someone's layout was busted?
Slide me that mouse, 'cause I'm here to adjust it.

Seems like your font is looking pretty grim
You want to make that text shine like custom rims?
Sure, where do we start?

Yo, that depends,
open up layer styles, say hello to my friend.

Yo I’m Master Bevel,
I’m way past your level
My contour’s better on your letters
Makes them less disheveled

Since you just a beginner
we’ll set the bevel to inner
Slide the depth right a step
shading shift like a winner

Almost done, don’t choke, throw on an outside stroke

Make that text leap out like it was provoked

Then I set my drop shadow at two thirds opacity!

Yo, your mastery is growing but not yet at capacity.

Your distance should be high with your size set low
and the spread between them slides right to zero

Now this bake sale flyer’s looking chrome as shit!

Better take that bitch to Kinkos cause it’s ready to PRINT.

A to the D to the O to the B. E
Rappin’ out my FAQ’s givin’ answers out for free-e.
A photoshop wizard so skilled that its tragic
Yo I pick up chicks with a wand that’s magic

Yo- oh! Damn, son, maybe my talent is off
This commission is too hard, harder that this unicorn's diamond hard horn
Yo, ...let your horns look tight

No, something’s missing, it’s still not right!
The line art’s fine, but the magic’s not there!

Well I’ma teach you some spells, get up out that chair.

I’ll be needin some help to bedazzle this horse
Good thing my whole crew’s bout to show up in force

ROLL CALL!
My boy Lens Flayer, gonna shock your screen
And you know Plastic Wrapper gonna give it a sheen
Filter Fil’s got the thrills if you know what I mean
and Lil’ Despeckle’s here to keep things clean

DJ Dodge is here with MC Burn
they be thrillin’ with skills you be yearnin’ to learn
Yo word, Motion Blur’d gonna take a turn
Noise Boys in the house, y’all, get concerned!

We got The Rasterizer, MC Brush FX
Gau’Sean, Quick Mask Killer, and all the rest
Gonna take this uni’ to the level next

Yeah, this rainbow mane's got me really erect! What?

He’s the C to the M to the Y to the KILLAH
Photoshop master pixel pushin’ eye thrillah'
Raps set to snap, so his guidance is locked
I got a twelve inch tablet and my rig’s overclocked

A to the D to the O to the B. E.
Rappin’ out his FAQ’s givin’ answers out for free-e.
Gotta walk the path of the number one shopper

I sample all the ladies with my massive eyedropper

By eyedropper, I’m talking about my dick. But my actual eyedropper also has a very large sample size.
Biatch!